I Cry When I Sleep

I didn’t know you can cry in ya’ sleep
Till I woke up with tears in my eyes
What the fuck is going on?
Real niggas don’t cry
Take this shit like a man…
Head up … Chest out…!
I’m a man!
But still, I woke with tears in my eyes
I thought that after all the bullshit
I’ve been through
I could no longer cry…
‘Muh’ died, ‘Ta’ died, I blew my trial
‘Pop Pop’ died, ‘Dez’ died, my appeal got denied
Then ‘K’ died, Mike died, ‘Stephen’ died
Damn Cuz!
I thought that I was tough
Especially after all that stuff
I held my head up, chest out
I ain’t pout
But, Somehow,
I woke up with tears in my eyes
What could I have been crying about…?
It don’t make sense…
All the bullshit, I dealt with
Held it in, showed no emotion
Now, my time getting longer…
This cell getting smaller…
Damn! This bit getting harder…
I guess that’s why when
I woke up with tears in my eyes
What was I dreaming about…?
Probably freedom
I just got denied again
And every time I close my eyes
I see the sky
Or me having kids and a wife
Some shit that may never happen in this life
No wonder why
When I woke up I had tears in my eyes
Maybe it was a nightmare…?
I keep having this recurring image
Of me spending life in this prison
One hundred thirty years was the sentence
Is that why?
When I woke up I had tears in my eyes
I don’t know…
I’m going through so much shit …
I don’t know
I’m trying to sleep through the pain
Because in here, there is nothing
That could mask the pain
I’m innocent!!!
But, the verdict, returned guilty!
Most likely, that’s the reason why
When I sleep I cry …

Published by korymcclary1221

My name is Kory McClary, I am 34 years old. I am currently serving a lengthy sentence at the New Jersey State prison in Trenton, New Jersey. I am fighting for my freedom so that I may return to my family and loved ones. Yet, I know that it is a long, tough, and bitter battle to achieve that goal. But, with the grace of God Almighty, and for the sake of my family, I will fight on. I am using this blog as a medium to enhance my voice and to bring awareness to my unfair condition leading out of my unjust conviction. While spending almost all of my time in a cell, I chose to write so that I may voice the reality of my situation, because without awareness there can never be Justice...! To escape the harsh reality of prison, I use the pen to release my frustrations. I use the pen to manifest my imagination. And, most of all, I use the pen to Fight. I am fighting for my Life! Just by reading Kory McClary's Blog, you are giving my plight and my word's a voice. Thank you. Please, stay tuned...

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