Dear Diary

Daily Affirmation: “I am resilient, guided by faith, and equipped to overcome every challenge in my path.”

Dear Diary,
What do you want to hear? How I’m feeling? Does anyone even care?
But since you’re here, I’ll tell you. I’m frustrated, anxious, worried, and oddly at peace—all at the same time.

Peace? Yeah, because I know I’m on a journey guided by God. I’m learning to fulfill what it means to be a man, step by step:

Emotional: I’m learning to keep my emotions in check.

Intellectual: My mind is sharp, but there’s still more to learn.

Social: Needs work—I’ll admit that.

Spiritual: I’m reconnecting with my faith, and it feels good.

Occupational: I’m a writer, author, and hustler, making something out of nothing.

Environmental: I hate where I am. Prison is a hard, dark place—no joke. But I’ve learned to navigate this world, and every smile I crack here is a testament to my resilience.

Physical: I’m injured. I don’t know what’s wrong, and I can’t work out the way I want to. That worries me.


And yet, I’m anxious because Governor Phil Murphy signed an executive order for expedited clemency reviews for cases like mine—extreme trial penalties.
Let me break it down: An extreme trial penalty is when a prosecutor offers you a plea deal (22 years, in my case), but if you reject it and lose at trial, you get slammed with a much harsher sentence. That’s what happened to me. I stood up for my right to a fair trial and got hit with 130 years.

The Governor said this practice is wrong, and I meet the criteria for his executive order. So I’m anxious—waiting. What will he do?
To be, or not to be free… That’s the question weighing on me.

Frustration? Oh, I’ve got plenty. The pace of my case against the stenographer is infuriating. It feels like they’re trying to sweep it under the rug. Here’s the thing:

The prosecutor was married to the stenographer at my trial.

My trial transcripts—the very record of what happened—are missing key parts.
They worked me. And now, I’m fighting to expose it.


Dear Diary, my thoughts are as tangled as my emotions. Some days, it feels like the fight will never end. But I’ve come too far to quit.